So its about 1pm now and my date doesn’t start till 7pm. How the heck did I get into this mess? For someone like me with so many self esteem issues this is really hard. The guy I know is harmless, cute and just a nice person, (well from his emails anyway). But for me personally, I am freaking out because I would love this to work out.
Its kind of an amazing story. So there I was on OkCupid after not being there for a month, I decide to write a few messages. And what do you know, no response! Am I that ugly, geez! I don’t usually send messages but what the fuck do these guys think. Do they think they are better than me or something? Well whatever, after being frustrated the hell outta that, I log back in hours later and check my Visitors List. I never do this. I usually just ignore it. But today something told me not to. And there he was, MusicMan, in my Visitors List. I read his profile and he seemed so nice! Very articulate, very well written profile, and a very long profile with lots to say. I love profiles like that, because that means he took the time and energy to come up with a nice description about him and his life. Anyway, I’m there staring at the screen thinking why didn’t he message me? So I said screw it, what did I have to lose, so I messaged him a quick hello basically indicating that I saw he visited and I am sorry he didn’t like what he read/saw but to give me a second chance because I read his profile. really liked it, and think we can hit it off. And what do you know! He messages me! He says he saw my profile and really wanted to send a message but he was at work and wanted to wait to get home so he could send me a well thought out message. Nice!
Now here is where my heart gets going. He lives 26 miles away from my little town. But he knows a cafe right in my town that he visits twice a month for an open mic night and performs there. Now you have no idea of a coincidence this is. I mean I live in NYC. There are hundreds upon thousands of little cafes where you can go play. Why my town? And why the cafe in the town where I literally pass every day, and is a block away from the program I’m in? When he told me the place I knew exactly where it was and it just blew me away.
So we are emailing back and forth for two days and everything is going great. Very long, funny witty well thought out emails being sent from both parties. Then he tells last night that one of his coworkers suffered a major loss of a seven week old baby. Everyone at his job was so devastated for him because he was so close with everyone there. So MusicMan, being as sensitive about things was very torn up by this. So he says, look, your emails bring light to my dark day, and I could really use a fun night out with music, laughs and an all around awesome good time. How was I to say no? I mean they say you shouldn’t wait too long to meet someone online anyway. Just do it and get it over with like a band-aid. But with my self-esteem issues I usually like to wait a while.
However, I feel I can be there for him. Laugh talk and enjoy a nice time out. Its been so long since I have been on a fun first date so I think I could really use this too. I just wish 7pm would get here soon though! This waiting is killing me. I am so so nervous. I told a friend and she said don’t expect anything. But I really like him. Ok, Ok, No expectations. Breathe!
Wish me luck!