Life’s Little Tragedies

falling-dominoesSo here I am.  Another typical day.  Nothing new or exciting.  Just sort of existing.  What’s so bad about that?  I have everything I want or I could possibly need.  Why the misery? Why do I feel like a little piece of my is dying every day. Because people shouldn’t live like this.

They shouldn’t stay in bed all day and play on the internet.  That’s not normal.  I have bad acid reflux, cause I’m fat too.  Every day I am battling with my stomach.  Nexium has bad side effects although I am glad the pills aren’t $600 anymore.  That was a bit excessive.  So here I am feeling sorry for myself.  Pretty pathetic huh?  I think so.

Something has to change.  I don’t know what though.  My therapist says the brain is our worst enemy.  Everytime we suggest change, it resists.  It likes comfort.  I am definitely comfortable.  I need to be stimulated somehow.  Move woman move!  I can feel myself inside screaming.  Spiraling down deeper and deeper into my depression.  Where is my ray of hope?  This situation won’t be like this forever.   I know it won’t.  It can’t be.  I won’t let it defeat me.  I won’t.

Love.  Self appreciation.  What a difficult concept.  Can it be done?  We shall see.

Stay tuned.

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2 Responses to Life’s Little Tragedies

  1. Stefanie says:

    You don’t have “everything I want or I could possibly need.” Hate to be the “Negative Nancy” here, but the human condition is to perpetually dissatisfied. We get what we want and then we want something else. Shitty, I know, but you know it’s true. So here’s the “tough stuff” that I’m going to tell you as your friend:

    *If you feel pathetic staying in bed all day, then don’t do it. Find something else to do. It doesn’t matter what it is. Volunteer somewhere. Wander around a shopping mall even if you’re not shopping. Go for a walk (I know you already do this, but maybe go for a REALLY LONG walk). Rearrange the furniture in your home. It’s stupid; it probably doesn’t need to be done; but you’ll be MOVING.
    *If you think you’re fat, take some of the time you spend in bed and dedicate it to exercise. Set goals. You don’t have to spend money on a gym membership. Look up body weight exercises that you can do at home (http://www.greatist.com is a GREAT resource for that).

    I didn’t want to do anything when I got home from work today, even though I left “on time.” Guess what I did? I picked up dog poop in my back yard (gross), I mowed both my front yard and my back yard, and I spread “weed and feed” on both my front yard and my back yard. Now I’m sitting on my front porch, listening to In This Moment, drinking a whisky and lemonade, and pretending to be a motivational “speaker.” 😉

  2. pepperrblue says:

    I decided that this year was going to my year of health – and trust me I’m not a health freak – I started my first ever diet – The lean and clean…it really does make you feel physically better and you lose weight fast – have a look it’s great x

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