Dropping the Label of “Bipolar”

freedomSo here I am.  Typical Friday night.  Home with Adult Swim on Cartoon Network.  What a night!  My bipolar self is slowly fading away.  I recently dropped the label of “bipolar” from the title of my blog because I won’t let it define me anymore.  The disorder has haunted me because a young crying girl walked into a psychiatrist’s office and instead of helping her he threw Lexapro at her.  In the midst of Lexapro and alcohol the bipolar was born.  I never heard voices before.  I never had mania before.  All of a sudden I was labeled “bipolar”.

Well no more.  I have been stable for a very long time now, on the lowest dosage of Haldol. I even had a job for a little while till the depression and drinking took over.  I may be an alcoholic.  I may be depressed.  But all my life I never was bipolar.  I don’t know why I am letting it define me now.  My therapist may tell me I have it.  My psychiatrist may write my scripts and close my file with “bipolar patient” labeled on it.  But I won’t let it define me anymore.  I won’t let it rule me and control my life.  I am human.  I live I feel,   I will not let a label like bipolar stop me from living a healthy life.  I am free.  The freedom is overwhelming.  Its my secret.  My burden to bare.  I don’t need anyone in my life telling me I’m crazy because some doctor labeled me bipolar.  Fuck them.  And everyone else.

I met someone.  Not a guy or a love interest.  But a new best friend.  She understands me. She is a rock that I thought I never had in my corner.  A Cancer (zodiac sign) like me we are going through life’s challenges together.  She understands me and relates to me.  And I dedicate my new found freedom from bipolar thanks to her. True love is defined not only between a man and a woman but between two broken hearts whose wounds can be healed by companionship and a deep friendship of love and understanding.  I dedicate this post to you S. Thank you for your constant support and for reaching out to me.

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