So here I am. Typical Friday night. Home with Adult Swim on Cartoon Network. What a night! My bipolar self is slowly fading away. I recently dropped the label of “bipolar” from the title of my blog because I won’t let it define me anymore. The disorder has haunted me because a young crying girl walked into a psychiatrist’s office and instead of helping her he threw Lexapro at her. In the midst of Lexapro and alcohol the bipolar was born. I never heard voices before. I never had mania before. All of a sudden I was labeled “bipolar”.
Well no more. I have been stable for a very long time now, on the lowest dosage of Haldol. I even had a job for a little while till the depression and drinking took over. I may be an alcoholic. I may be depressed. But all my life I never was bipolar. I don’t know why I am letting it define me now. My therapist may tell me I have it. My psychiatrist may write my scripts and close my file with “bipolar patient” labeled on it. But I won’t let it define me anymore. I won’t let it rule me and control my life. I am human. I live I feel, I will not let a label like bipolar stop me from living a healthy life. I am free. The freedom is overwhelming. Its my secret. My burden to bare. I don’t need anyone in my life telling me I’m crazy because some doctor labeled me bipolar. Fuck them. And everyone else.
I met someone. Not a guy or a love interest. But a new best friend. She understands me. She is a rock that I thought I never had in my corner. A Cancer (zodiac sign) like me we are going through life’s challenges together. She understands me and relates to me. And I dedicate my new found freedom from bipolar thanks to her. True love is defined not only between a man and a woman but between two broken hearts whose wounds can be healed by companionship and a deep friendship of love and understanding. I dedicate this post to you S. Thank you for your constant support and for reaching out to me.