Oh poor me. Poor lazy fat useless me. I have been for the past few weeks in this perpetual “SLUMP”. Yes, I did get my fat ass up to do some walking in the park, but I still feel useless. Things didn’t go well with the guy with all the baggage, (he had two kids and lived at home with his parents and didn’t even have enough money to pay for our meal), *Cough* LOSER *Cough*. So I learned a lot from that experience, which showed me that God is sure looking out for me because I think I dodged a huge bullet there.
Anyway back to my slump. Have you ever felt just sorry for yourself? Like fuck, I am never going to find anyone so why bother? That’s where I am at right now. And that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that I still talk to my ex every night on the phone at 8pm, every night for the past 4 years. Someone get me a gun. I am still totally in love with my ex, yet I am out there looking for Mr. Right. Things can’t work out with my ex though. We are sexually incompatible. That was the reason for our break-up. It just wasn’t “there”. AND to top it off, our sexual incompatibility has left me totally sexless and not wanting it. I don’t even care that I haven’t had sex in four years. In fact, I could fuckin’ care less. This makes it even harder to secure a boyfriend because all it is nowadays is sex sex sex sex. The days of courting are over. And how do I tell Mr. Right about my bipolar? That’s another can of worms I don’t want to open. Blah!
So what to do, what to do….
I think I will have a drink, and cheers to never finding a man.
Fuck. I hate myself and my despicable life.