Desperate Guys and FAT Girls Trying to Date

fat girl 2Kind of a loaded opening statement I know, but let me clarify. Besides being so fucked up and Bipolar, I recently joined Eharmony and it has been a pleasant experience so far. However I ran into my first desperate guy tonight.  So, I’m west indian and I like white guys.  Sue me, its a preference. I guess I would date an Indian guy, but if he was incredibly Americanized as me. Maybe that’s racist, I don’t know, but fuck it, I’m entitled to my opinion and what I want is what I want. Anyway, being on this site has taught me one thing.  And that is patience.  SLOW THE FUCK DOWN DUDE.  Seriously. Eharmony has a set-up I like a lot, they go through these steps of communicating where you can find a lot about a person before you actually start being all creepy and fucked up with sending private messages and emails.  I guess I can be positive and say all the emails I will receive won’t be creepy and fucked up, but some of the messages I have been hearing about women getting from men on lets say OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish are down right scary.  I don’t envy you ladies!

Anyway, back to the Indian dude.  Yeah you’re Indian and I am West Indian, do you think because I am the same as you, you can forego the whole process and skip to messaging?? Oh and Mr. Wonderful also has a profile that lists the five things he can’t live without is YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, and YOU.  Do you think that’s cute?  Now granted the five things I can’t live without is my family, my best friend, my laptop, my car and my tv.  Maybe I am the screwed up one.  I don’t know.  But dude seriously just cause I’m Indian and you’re Indian on a site with predominately white and black members doesn’t mean you can start messaging me with marriage proposals because we are the same.  Fuck that.  BLOCK.

Besides that, I am really worried.  My last date with someone from a website (not Eharmony), was a total disaster.  He looked nothing like his picture and I probably looked nothing like my picture to him either.  I am actually very fat.  I plan on telling everyone that I will meet that I am 200 pounds at 5 feet to avoid any confusion.  This will probably lessen my chances, but at least it won’t set me up for a total rejection.  Some of these guys on the website though, are all active.  I mean they are out there snowboarding, jet skiing, rock climbing, hitting the gym every day, and they can’t meet anyone?  Is there any other nerds out there that just chill at home and relax with their TV after work?  That is why I miss D so much.  He was the love of my life.  We were so much alike.  We both love staying at home and watching tv.  He was perfect for me.  I still love him.  And I am out there trying to replace him.  It is soooo not happening.

I really like Eharmony these days though.  Now besides your matches there is a “What if” option that you can look to see matches that are outside your range and preferences.  I am sure they wouldn’t put people there that would totally be different than your preferences though, just someone that maybe didn’t match with all of your criteria.  Which is ok.  The last time I found someone who was exactly like me broke my heart three years later.  Oh D, I miss you.

I guess for now this will be me:

fat girl





(They didn’t even have a fat indian girl graphic, sigh…..maybe I am a rarity)

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19 Responses to Desperate Guys and FAT Girls Trying to Date

  1. Crista Sinclair says:

    LOL You sound like me when I was on eHarmony and a few years earlier. There are guys on those sites that are really desperate but I have also met guys are seemingly active and social on their profile and can’t form sentences in front of me. Or become attached quickly. But all in all, it seems like you may need to take a break because you’re still in love. No one is going to match “D” for a while and that’s okay.

    • Thank you for your kind words. Yes I need to get over my “D”. I feel like I do need a break, but I am pushing on only because I can’t stand still any longer. Another year has come and gone and I am still crying over the same things. I need to grow up. I need to move on.

      • Crista Sinclair says:

        It’s not going to happen over night and you shouldn’t expect it.

        And the last time you need to do is get a rebound. Because even though it may seem fun and new, eventually, you are going to start thinking about your ex again and that isn’t fair to the new guy.

        It’s okay, I’ve been here TOO many times.

  2. practicalseeker says:

    We totally get each other, haha. We can put online dating at the top of the list of Why Being Fat Sucks. You’re very funny and honest. I especially liked the part about all the active guys throwing their bodies into extreme sports and nature, yet turn to the internet to connect with a woman. Brilliant. Stay connected, yeah?

    • Girl, thanks for your kind words. It’s really totally messed up as to why these “active” men can’t find a date, and then they look on a dating site for a supermodel. “Supermodels are out with their rich boyfriends that’s why, and your lame income can’t afford you a dream girl dude”, is what I feel like telling them. But thanks for appreciating what I had to say. I’m glad some people are reading, and getting a laugh out of it!

  3. icycombatant says:

    Jesus girl, that is spot on with the Americanized shit. I can feel ya 100%, I, myself, am a Twinkie. Mad knucks on telling people, upfront, who you are, no fucking around. As far as I’m concerned, when you start NOT fucking around, then you can start fucking around.

    • Yes I agree! It’s some crazy shit on this online dating world. Its all about appearances and judgments. I think way too many guys on there are fucking around though. You ain’t meeting a supermodel on there guys, so stop looking! LOL.

  4. We all need to hang on tight on this cyber dating thing , though the rope doesn’t seem to strong enough or convincing enough to hold on.. The world of online dating is like going farmer’s market. You browse, take up interests and try to cut the deal but you never buy:)
    Good day, L

  5. deepexplorations says:

    Hey, being 5′ and 200lbs doesn’t make you fat in my book, for what it’s worth. And yes, there are LOTS of dudes out there who want to just hang out and chill on the couch…most of them just don’t post profiles on dating sites, or if they do, they think they have to post that they are into all sorts of activities. Dating sites force you to sell yourself, and no one sells on ordinary or plain. It’s a game for sure, but whenever you meet anyone, you put your best foot forward, whether it’s online or in person. It just seems more difficult online because when you meet someone in person, you have all sorts of cues and info to form your own impression on. Online you can only go on their pictures and what they say about themselves and how you interpret it.
    There are about 10-20% of guys are creeps or weirdos. They are pushy and gross online. Just ignore them and block them, and move on, and don’t feel bad about it. There are some decent guys out there if you look long enough.

  6. Three Time Loser says:

    It doesn’t matter whether you are white, black or West Indian – a lot of men on dating sites are creeps, period. I had been on POF for a while and met some nice men there. One was scum, one was nice but just not ready for a relationship. My current man is also a POF match and while I won’t say our relationship is all sunshine and roses, but we have a comfortable relationship.

    The anonymity of online dating sites gives men a perceived license to be assholes, plain and simple. I had my share of awful messages. The one that sticks out most is (excuse me) “nice t*ts” (My fault for posting a bathing suit photo, neck up that showed a hint of cleavage but was not graphic in any way.) Boys will be boys.

    The men worth dating, worth communicating with are out there. It just takes awhile to find the good apple from the sea of bad. And oh yeah – I 100% agree with you about the proclaimed activity level some men state on their profiles. If they are as active as they state, how in the world would they find the time to post a profile, search others and send messages? Take it with a grain of salt.

    (And you are not a racists. You have your preferences. No matter how hot I think Shemar Moore is without a shirt, I am just not into ‘brown meat’. As a white girl, maybe that makes me racist, but preference is preference.)

    See my posting ‘An open letter to men on online dating sites’ for my take on this. I think every woman has had a similar experience. Good luck in your search – be patient, be true to you, and your prince will come.

    • Thank you for taking the time to comment on my post. I think you’re absolutely right. I really need to take it with a grain of salt. I am so happy you met your current boyfriend on POF, that’s awesome! I haven’t used that site too much these days.

      Anyway, I will check out your post, and see your thoughts. Thanks again for your well thought out comment, it really helps that I am truly not alone in my plight.

  7. nicky712 says:

    It is HARD to get over some men. Please don’t let that stop you from endeavoring to do so when you think that it is time. Yes, you will find the right guy but sometimes comparison helps, sometimes being appreciated helps. Women don’t always have to be the martyr when it comes to this. We are all out there trying to make a connection and we are not always going to be perfect, on our game, our best self. Why should we? Men aren’t, are they?
    My bestie gave me this poem and I hope it fits, but it helped me- sorry to be cheesy if it comes off that way but it helped me:)

    Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell
    by Marty McConnell

    leaving is not enough; you must stay gone. train your heart like a dog. change the locks
    even on the house he’s never visited. you lucky, lucky girl. you have an apartment
    just your size. a bathtub full of tea. a heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly
    so arid. don’t wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems
    are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor
    at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. you had to have him.
    and you did. and now you pull down the bridge between your houses,
    you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take
    a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. make the first bottle you consume
    in this place a relic. place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries.
    don’t lose too much weight. stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. and you
    are not stupid. you loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. heart like a four-poster bed. heart like a canvas. heart leaking something so strong
    they can smell it in the street.

    • What a lovely poem! Thank you for sharing 🙂

      It was a while since I made that post, and I am feeling better. D was the love of my life and to me he still is. Its hard out there it really is. Thank you for understanding and making your point. Its hard enough trying to get out of bed!

  8. neceewrites says:

    Love this post! Funny, you make me want to give eHarmony a try (again).

    I have a few girlfriends on and POF, the stories they tell about what men say to them, yikes! I can’t do it.

    Thanks for the laugh and inspiration … oh, and I think you should make your own Indian girl graphic! 😉

    Take care, Denise (aka Necee)

    • Thanks girl! Anytime. I haven’t really been back on Eharmony because my last experience was a disaster “yikes” again!

      But you know us chicas have to stick together really. Seriously, there are some real creeps out there and we really have to help one another. I am glad you’re following my blog, I will check yours out too.

      Thanks again!

  9. Roman says:

    Sooo…. Umm…. What happened to that “D” guy? Did you eat him?

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