Missing Life Because of Bipolar

Abstract Silhouette PrayingDo you often feel that you are missing out on life?  That it is just passing you by? Welcome to my world.  Yesterday, or should I say earlier this morning I couldn’t sleep AT ALL. The one pill of Trazodone wasn’t doing anything, so I decided to take two more. Boy did I pay for that!  I slept from 10am until 9pm.  I missed the whole Saturday.  I went onto facebook to see messages from my friends that have been trying to contact me all day.  I had my phone off and the new guy I am talking to had been texting me.  My best friend sent me several emails from upstate, (he gets no cell signal when he goes up there), to see where I was and how I was doing.

Life was just happening around me.  So when I try and catch up with everyone and it is now 11:30pm and everyone is tired and going to sleep!  And I’m wide awake!  I feel lost, alone, behind, out of the loop.  Mania takes over and I can’t rest.  I can’t even get on a normal schedule.  Dam you bipolar.  I hate you.  I want to be normal.  I want to rest at a certain time.  I want to be able to live my life when the rest of humanity is living too.  I am caught in a bubble.  So many things are happening around me to different people.  Their lives are changing and mine is ever the same.  I feel so left behind.  Why have you forsaken me bipolar??!! Let me rest.  Stop fucking with me.

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3 Responses to Missing Life Because of Bipolar

  1. jusd says:

    Reblogged this on Jusd.

  2. Hey, L.. just checking on your latest post. That kinda sucks, you seemed to be on the opposite clock with the rest of your buddies..Well, with the same clock, I do feel left out some times.. Guess I will have to catch up with one of my buddies(?) who sent me a message..
    Take care.. J

    • Hey J,

      Thanks so much for checking up on me! Truth be told, I went to the doctor and had him check me out. He gave me some pills to help me sleep, and I seem to be on the right schedule again, (going to bed at 2am and waking up 10am). I am going to readjust my sleeping some more. but things are good right now. How are you doing? Glad to know there are others who are going through something similar to me 🙂

      Take care hun,

      -L.

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