My Boyfriend of 2 years Broke Up With Me Tonight

broken-broken-heart-i-loved-you-ps.-sad-Favim.com-54036So its over. He told me tonight that he will probably never love me.  Ouch.

I met him on Eharmony.  That worked for me.  On an intellectual level we really connected.  But intimately we just didn’t connect.  It just wasn’t there.   I tried to fool myself for two years, thinking foolishly that he will grow to love me.  I think he did too.  I think he really wanted to try to force himself to love me that’s why he waited so long to tell me.

I feel so many emotions right now.  I cried for about two hours.  But I don’t really feel anything right now.  I feel horrible about myself.   I think I am fat and ugly.  I used to tell him this all the time.  That contributed to his “unlove” for me.  Men really don’t want to hear that you feel so bad about yourself.  They also secretly want drama and a challenge.  That’s what he said.  He has loved people that never loved him back.  Men like a challenge.

We always want what we don’t have.  I loved him soooo much.  I loved him when I woke up.  I loved him when I went to sleep.  But he didn’t love me.  He didn’t feel for me.  And for two years I tried to fool myself and think that he would change.  That maybe he would. He never did and he never will.  If it isn’t there it isn’t there.  Accepting it is the hardest part.  I tell myself that if I was more beautiful he would love me.  That probably even isn’t it.

My conclusion.  Men don’t know what the fuck they want.  Fuck them.  I will be alone for a very long time now.  I know I will.  Fuck men.  Time to work on me.

This entry was posted in My boyfriend and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to My Boyfriend of 2 years Broke Up With Me Tonight

  1. Hang in there… (hugs)

  2. cakeytin says:

    Sorry to hear that. Men are strange and good luck. There are plenty of people who are perfect for you out there. One day you’ll meet, but take the opportunity to make yourself happy without having to think of him.

    • Thanks so much for replying, It is gutting me. Sometimes I am ok and I feel I can handle it, and just now I was crying my eyes out in the bathroom stall at work. But thanks for your kind words. Men are strange indeed.

  3. jodeybear says:

    You deserve to love someone who loves you back. Hang in there, and find self-worth in the wake! I have always noticed that men lost interest when I started talking badly about myself. I guess they like women with high self esteem. They may possibly even like women who have ego problems.

    • I think men like women who don’t want them. It alwatys happens that way. “We want what we can’t have” Those were exact words to me. You are right. I need someone that will love me back and want to be with me. Not someone who forces himself to feel for me. He just doesn’t feel for me, and I can’t force it. But man does it hurt. Knowing someone sees you loathe yourself and uses that as a reason to leave you. I wish I had the strength right now, but I am so weak.

      • jodeybear says:

        Shame on him! He should never have led you on or let you feel unequally…and letting you down when you are at your worst isn’t right either. But, sweetie, you’re better off, and after you take some time to heal, find the guy who will feel. He will feel better to you, too, and then all the hurting you feel now will be worth it. We all have insecurities, and if the person you are with can’t deal with yours, they aren’t fit for you. Take some time to face your insecurities, and do whatever you need to do to get over them. I have them – and I may not be overcoming them the RIGHT way, but it’s working for me. I always find self-worth in the wake of a failed relationship. Not right away, but in a little while I hope you find the same.

  4. bipolartruth says:

    Hold your head up high, girl. You are loveable and worth loving and if he couldn’t see that then he wasn’t the right guy for you. You deserve someone who loves you just as much as you love them, and who honours and protects you. Being single isn’t that bad though…there’s a lot you can do on your own plus taking time to work on yourself is invaluable. ❤

    • Thanks so much! I appreciate your kind uplifting inspirational words, and being single isn’t bad. I will find someone to care for me one day, and I will love life and love me in the process. Thanks again xoxoxoxo

  5. TheGirl says:

    Hi Hun,

    I went through this very recently myself and that’s why I’m here blogging about it.I know how that feels to have such a deep connection and adoration for someone and not have it returned back. However, as you mourn this loss, just know that it’s not your fault or his fault. He didn’t have feelings because of the way you look or acted, you both feel differently about each other and its time to move on and eventually you’ll find someone that will love you and deserves your love. Now that you know the signs between true love and someone just hanging around, you’ve learned to tell the difference. Good Luck and you can always reach me to chat!

    • How can I reach you in chat? I would love to chat with you about this! I am struggling, even now, not to call him. I fell into a comfortable routine, and it is beyond me to live outside my comfort zone, This is so hard, I am struggling, But there is hope. There is a lot out there for me to live and experience, and I am learning that everyday. Thank you for commenting, and I am enjoying your blog! Contact me anytime.

      Thanks.

      • TheGirl says:

        Hi, My email is reporterandthegirl@gmail.com I believe there is a chat service there! So if you email me I’ll add you to my circle. I know the struggle, hun and it will be hard to adjust. Try to keep yourself busy with tasks any kind of task you can find or that you had been meaning to get to. And hang out with friends and family members, cause sometimes these thoughts come when you’re alone with nothing to do but think…about him. This helped for me.

  6. Hey- I wanted to “Like” this because the picture is so expressive and the words, too. But “Like” isn’t the right button to click for something sad, so I’m commenting instead…
    Xx

  7. DIVAgodZILLA says:

    Its going to be alright. You knew he wasnt the one from the start. Next time try not to let it go on for so long. “The best thing a man who doesn’t mean you well can do is sit down so you can see the man standing behind him.” And alas we are currently in the same boat. I don’t feel so bad. Neither should you Miss Lady!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s