When Bipolar Strikes your insides like Lightning……..

head-in-hands

It is crippling to the soul.  It envelops you like a disease.  Is it just depression?  What happens when you can’t get up.  When it consumes your whole mood and it reaches down into your underbelly and it takes you in with it.  That’s what happened to me.  This bipolar.  What are you?  Is it just winter?

Some people say its the winter blues and it is just January that is doing this.  But 2013 in general has been so hard for me.  It is a struggle to get out of bed.  I lied to my boss this morning.  He may fire me.  I may lose my job.  And you know what, I don’t even care.  I don’t want to try.  Oh bipolar, you are a demon.  This imbalance is stifling.

Do you ever feel like you don’t even want to try?  This sea of emotion.  Like a rollercoaster. I can’t even get my bearings till like 1pm.  It really takes almost 5 hours to wake up properly?  This is not normal.  It’s just plain fucked up.

We are the foresaken.

We are the bipolar.

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8 Responses to When Bipolar Strikes your insides like Lightning……..

  1. Outlaw says:

    Brilliantly descriptive piece. With your kind permission. I will repost this on my site….

    • Thanks so much for your support. I truly appreciate it. I write these things as I am feeling them, and this year especially I am fighting the despair. Its nice to know some people are listening and can identify to what I am going through, Thanks again, It really made my day knowing you shared my words.

  2. Pingback: WE ARE THE BIPOLAR…. « The Outlaw

  3. I blog about being bipolar. I had a crappy comment, recently, from someone who obviously misunderstands the complications the disease brings. It’s a disease. Not something people choose.

    • I am sorry you went through this. People leave comments sometimes that we don’t like. We have to try our best to not let it bring us down. Stay strong. I will follow your blog and show my support to you

      • Ahhh, thanks unchainedsoul. There is so much support here. When I had my crack up years ago, I rarely went on the net besides for work or to look up creepy personal ads for entertainment. I see (being so reluctant to start this blog) the total benefits of meeting people here. Thanks! I’ll check back with you, too…..

  4. erinhutch95 says:

    Wow. How I could be reading my life on anothers blog fascinates me. I loathe myself to the point where I drive men away. And I can’t stop. I want to be beautiful. I want to feel beautiful. I Dont know how. So I just drink alcohol and take xanax.

    • Yes that’s pretty much me too. But I try not to mix the pills with the alcohol anymore. I want to be beautiful to. So much so. I sympathize and I so understand where you are. Please take comfort that you are not alone. We will make it through this xoxoxoxo

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