So, you’ve got that treadmill in the office huh? Not me of course. That seems a little ridiculous. Anyway, I wondered what it would be like if I got my hot body back. You know that little vixen from my 20′s. Most of my posts on here have been how miserable I am, how fat I am, how dating is a mess, blah, blah, blah, cry me a fucking river! LOL. Haven’t you people heard enough of that shit? I know I’m tired of writing about it.
Well the online dating world has been slow and dead. I am still on Paltalk, meeting a bunch of characters in the chatrooms. Chatrooms to find a mate. Damn I am scraping the bottom of the internet barrel! I mean the horniest, dumbest, feeble minded imps seem to be on this site. How beautiful I am (the pictures being old and all dressed up and pretty), how sexy I am, do I want to see them cum, do I want to see their dick. Oh and it doesn’t end there. I can go on for hours at how lame these men in these chatrooms are. So, I think its time to take a break. Step back for a few days, maybe even a few weeks. I don’t need to subject myself to that type of dribble to have a good time.
What about going outside and dealing with the 3D world. You know hang with the vertical people?! Yeah right. I like my hole, my room, my darkness, chatting away from the shadows. Geez, who sounds like the creep now huh? Anyway, I’m not ready for any of that yet. This Fat girl needs to shed a few pounds. I have my exercise routine in a trial mode right now. I do 10 minutes of Zumba and 10 minutes on the treadmill. I’m fat give me a break ok, this is all I can handle right now. I like what my best friend said, set some small goals. Short term, just to do what I can handle. If I set the mountain too high, and my expectations ridiculous I will get discouraged and not do it. Which for the most part is the story of my life. Being bipolar and manic, I was able to drop 50 pounds in 5 months. That’s the joy of being out of your mind. You can accomplish anything, and fast!
But now I’m stable and mellow. The drinking stopped and I am getting my shit together. I didn’t realize how much my relationship had held me back. I was drinking every day and was sooo fucked up. If you read some of my past posts you will see. My relationship was a disaster for me, so I hope the next one will be better.
On to the online dating. So I am back on Eharmony. What a joke. That site is even worse than it was before. Now if you make a slip and hit the wrong button they automatically charge your credit card. What a rip off! Thankfully every time I hit that button, (which is an easy place to hit) I was able to call in and stop them from charging me another $30.
So the first guy was cool. We added each other on Facebook and started chatting using their messanger. This guy is a trip though. He really thinks I am going to chase after him? Fuck that. After several messages that went ignored or took an hour for a response I gave up. He says he has AFK (away from keyboard) tendancies. How about he’s not taking it seriously and should grow the fuck up if you want to talk to someone and get to know them better? I think that’s a better description don’t you? Anyway, I will leave him on my Facebook another week before I hit “delete friend”. Its been two weeks since our last chat and I will be damned if I am going to make the first move again. What a loser. Do men really expect you to chase them? Fucking hell.
Anyway, prospect 2 is a nice guy. Although I signed up for more than I bargained for when I was talking to him. He has two kids. Dun dun dunnnn. (Insert dramatic music here). I don’t want a man with kids. I hate kids. Yeah I said it. I don’t want any, and I don’t want anyone that has any. Its just not for me. I am no motherly type. I’m selfish, depressed, bipolar, drunk and all around fucked up. Who wants to expose a kid to that? Anyway, I am on the fence about him. He seems nice, but I can’t get his kids out of my head. I will have to really think about if I want to pursue this. Anyway, we exchanged several emails so far and I think he is really into me. Dun Dun Dunnnnnn. (Insert dramatic music part 2 here).
What to do, what to do? Well this is my life….
Another bipolar day…….